Monday, 4 July 2022

Year 1 of Forever: The 1st Year of Marriage

It was our 1-year anniversary a couple of days ago and we started this tradition of getting all dressed up and taking fancy pictures every year because the collection will look bomb at Year 50.

Anyways, back to the anniversary. People say the first year is the hardest and I really hope so because I haven’t found it very hard at all. I’m hoping that was the worst and it’s all roses from now on. 

I went into marriage being absolutely sure I loved him and that hasn’t changed. I love him more now than I did when I said “I do” that summer afternoon. But you know what, sometimes I didn’t like him very much. Love – I’ve found is steady…it’s conscious…it’s often times effortless…it’s a decision. Like – on the other hand, is rocky, inconsistent but important in a marriage…not as much as love is, but important in its own right.

On the days I didn’t like him or his decisions, I loved him still. And on the days, I didn’t like me very much, he loved me enough for the both of us. I always thought you had to fix all parts of yourself before you come into marriage but I was wrong. He has taught me that you don’t. Sometimes brokenness takes you by surprise and shows itself long after you thought you’ve healed. Before your marriage, it’s worth knowing all the parts of you that are broken and need work, but you don’t have to have it all fixed. There are some parts of you that might need someone else’s love to fix and I am not ashamed to say that anymore. Self-love is amazing, but sometimes, love from another is the fix.

I always joke that He was meant to be a husband because he is the most husbandest husband I know. But what I really mean is that he was always meant to be my husband. God always intended that a bold unapologetic black woman from Lagos would marry a calm, self-assured white man from Vancouver. While marriage is not an accomplishment, a healthy marriage is a blessing and this is one of my biggest blessings. To love and be loved.

Cheers to Year 1. Forever to go.

Thanks for stopping by.

5 yorum:

  1. Cheers to foreveršŸ»

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  2. “There are some parts of you that might need someone else’s love to fix and I am not ashamed to say that anymore. Self-love is amazing, but sometimes, love from another is the fix”!!!! So true for me! We can’t always do everything ourselves. We don’t have to fight alone. I’m going through this process myself and hoping this is the one but I’ll be fine if he isn’t because I trust God’s plan more. Thank you for this!

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    1. Absolutely love that you said you'd be fine either ways because of your faith in God. Praying that God rewards you for this faith and we celebrate soonest! Lots of love, T.

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  3. That 50 year album will be a work of art! Cheers to forever girl!!!

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I am so glad you're taking the time out to comment. It really does put a smile on my face ♥