VELVET QUEUED

LONG TIME, NO BLOG...

I wish I could say I have some genuine reason for not blogging but I honestly don't. I wasn't going anywhere apart from school which involved wearing a white shirt and a black skirt everyday. I moved to a different state and a remote part of that state for school and I was just depressed. To make matters worse, I got feasted on my bed bugs so I have the scars all over my body to prove it so that really got me down the more.

And I lost interest in blogging. Everyone who found out I was a blogger just wanted to know how much money I made from it...whether I got free stuff and all that and it made blogging just seem rather shallow to me. Most bloggers I met want to go "commercial"...whatever that means. For me, blogging was just fun. It wasn't about free stuff. It was about sharing my experiences and my style in a fun way. There is nothing wrong with wanting free stuff (that is pretty cool to be honest). But that is not why I blog. I love reading emails from women about how my post helped them with their self esteem or how something I wrote helped them retrace their steps back to God or how they just want to get to know God for the first time. Emails/comments like that.....THAT IS WHY I BLOG!!! I got so many emails and tweets asking me where I was. I also got people telling me how for them, I needed to keep blogging. The warmth all these brought to my heart is unexplainable.

I cannot promise to start regular blogging again 'cause that'll be a lie. But I can say that I'm in a good place for everyone who asked. I took a vacation with my sisters and I am lying on the beach typing this. It's hot but it is beautiful. I love it here (Dubai) and I don't want to go back home. lol. I do miss all of you. I really do. I do more stuff on instagram (well, more than here...for now), so you can check me out there: @thatescadagirl

Lots of love,

Tomilola E.

And monochrome clashes...

CLASS OF 2013...

JUMP - SUIT

THE GREAT DEBATE.

I'm not condemning or approving any of the things I mentioned. I'm simply asking us to love each other to acceptance. I'm asking women to stop looking at what other women are doing but why they are doing it. Behind every modification...every change is a woman's desire to conform to a standard of beauty that exists maybe in her community...in the media or even worse in her own head. This isn't the "white vs black" debate.  This is the "women vs women vs the world" debate.

For so long, we've been put against each other. Two women wear the same outfit and it is a case of "who wore it better?". Two women are good friends and someone else is deciding "who is hotter?" Comments like "you're really pretty for a dark skinned girl" and "you're not that pretty, you're just light-skinned" are used to tear women down. Women are constantly been compared to each other. I don't know who started the comparison but I know who can end it. We can end it. We can stop the hate. We can love each other to acceptance. People say love isn't enough. I tell you, LOVE IS ENOUGH. It covers a multitude of sins. Don't mock/judge the girl who bleaches her skin, tell her how beautiful she is the way God made her...so maybe...just maybe she can look in the mirror one day and fall in love with herself inside and out. She isn't too pretty for a dark skinned girl. She is pretty. (FULL STOP) Unless she is medically unhealthy and you're willing to say it with love, don't comment on a woman's weight/size. It's not a case of who wore it better but two ways to style this item. She is not the hotter friend. She is simply a good friend.

All women have or will go through insecurity at some point in their lives. Don't make matters worse by picking on their insecurity but address it and help them feel secure. A confident woman isn't someone who doesn't have insecure moments. A confident woman is one that knows that her insecurities don't define her....that she is better than her bad days.

I could easily blame the hate on men...or the media...or even us women. But I read somewhere that it matters NOT what people call you, but what you answer to. And I don't mean to turn my blog into some inspirational/motivational thing but I think there are loads of blogs with people dressing fancy (which I love) yet there are so many deep-rooted issues that are left untouched. And I think we need to address it for ourselves...mothers...sisters...friends and our daughters.

"And God looked at all that He created and everything He created (including women), He saw as very beautiful - Genesis 1:31"

Lots of love,

BLACK & WHITE

Hi guys, I'm sure you know by now that I love the monochrome trend. I got a dress on Asos hoping I'd rock it on its own but it was sooo short that I couldn't wear it on it's own so I rolled it up, got my black trousers and peped the waist so the 'join-join' I did wouldn't show. I felt like my black shoes were too plain so I made a bow and attached it to the pumps for a little "umph". How did I do?

OUTFIT DETAILS: Asos dress and trouser // Primark heels // River Island Peplum belt // Versace wristwatch

Other celebrities rocking the monochromatic look that I love

(source: google)

Love isn't a product of God, it is an attribute of God. It is not something He does. It is something God is. And guess what? we are made in His image and likeness....

Lots of love,

HEY THERE, I'M TOMILOLA

Hi guys, I wanted to tell you guys a story about idolatry but I didn't want it to be long, sad and boring. God doesn't appreciate us having idols and I know we sometimes limit idols to some wooden thing we bow down and worship. Yes, those are idols but c'mon guys, we are in the 21st century, the definition of idols have broadened. An idol is a physical representation of your "god" and thus anything you treat as important or more important than God is your idol and idolatry is a sin. So think of anything really, money, your partners, SHOES, clothes and many others can be your idols. For example, when I was younger, I would skip church if I didn't have anything fancy to wear, so fancy clothes were my idols. They were way too important to me and a great hindrance to my service to God. I hope you get the picture. Have a lovely week guys!

"You shall have no other gods besides me - God [Exodus 20:3]"

Lots of love,

A DAY AT THE LAKE

Hi guys, I took a road trip with a couple of my friends on a RAINY day to the lake. The weather was cold and we had to walk and walk and walk so comfortable shoes were a must. It's a really simple outfit I pulled together last minute but I felt like sharing with you guys! By the way, I had my first  "my hair is natural" moment. I took time out to flat iron my natural hair and as soon as water touched it, all my hard work disappeared and my hair just shrunk. I refused to let that stop me from having fun though; after all, it is just hair. I am extremely knackered at the moment but I hope you all had an amazing Saturday! 

OUTFIT DETAILS

Next Sweater // Asos Boyfriend Shirt, belt, faux fur lapel collar, and hat // H&M Boots // Primark Tights // New Look Skirt

On the boat ride, I had the opportunity to take loads of pictures of absolutely beautiful houses and I am in no way the greatest photographer but I thought I'd share some of these pictures with you.

Okay quick story, as we were leaving the lake, I saw these flowers that were yet to bloom and I wanted to take a picture and my friend said they were ugly and weren't worth a picture. Anyways, I have "strong head", I took a picture. As I was looking at these flowers and remembering my friend's reaction to it, it made me think of how easily we JUDGE THE PROCESS. We look at people and just conclude they are not at a place worth paying attention to and it saddens me because sometimes these people  like these flowers are in  a process. Soon they will bloom just like the flowers, but if we pay them no attention like they are nothing, we can actually be an obstacle to them blooming...to them being the absolute best they can be. If God is the only One that can shape the vessel, perhaps we should take into consideration how we are in no place to determine the importance of people who are still being shaped by God...the people in the process...the people yet to bloom...people like me and you...

Lots of love,

MAKING A DIFFERENCE WITH ONE SHARE/FOLLOW/LIKE

Hi guys, today's post is a little different. It is about GIVING BACK and I love to do just that. I am Nigerian (in case you didn't know) and it's children's day for us on May 27th and I was contacted by JUMIA with a lovely opportunity to give back. JUMIA is an online retail store for those living in Nigeria with basically EVERYTHING from fashion to electronics to books and even stuff for your home. They offered to donate N1 (One Naira) for every like on their facebook page and twitter which you can find on their website. This money goes to providing food for less privileged children in Nigeria. I know it seems very little but if everyone does a little bit of something, there will be a BIG change.

As at May 13 which is the day this commenced, they had already raised N5 877 and I would really appreciate if we helped them to raise more money so some kids can actually have the opportunity to actually feel like kids...

In support of that, there is a discount code for all those who want to shop at JUMIA when you use the code: ENG37APX

CONNECT WITH JUMIA BY CLICKING THE LINKS BELOW:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Have a lovely weekend guys

Lots of love,