Journey to The Comfort Zone

I am one of those people who hates change. When I am having conversations with people, I pretend to like change, but I actually hate it. I hate to change jobs, partners, friends, church etc. Once I am comfortable somewhere, whether or not I am reaching my potential there, I love to stay there. But God doesn't feel the same way, which is why He is sometimes referred to as the "Unchangeable Changer". Recently, God forced my hand on a life plan, (I had to change a life plan), and it felt like I was being thrown in the middle of the ocean, with no life jacket, and no prior swimming lessons. And I am learning that although not all change is good, the change that is ordained from God, is a good change.

NO EGO! NO PRIDE!!

Last night, one of my best friends called me. She had broken up with her boyfriend on numerous occasions(because she was not sure if she was ready for a relationship); and on this particular occasion, she was sure she wanted him; but he had gotten tired of her neither here nor there attitude and told her he wasn't taking her back. He informed her that she had been very selfish and the world was not her oyster. I couldn't do much to comfort her because he was right; she had been selfish; but one of the determining factor for not taking her back was his pride and ego which had been bruised on several occasions. 

HI DADDY!

I struggled with prayer for a long time. I never really understood how people could pray for hours non stop. And so a lot of the things I prayed about in one prayer session, especially in church, were just repetitions. If you have ever been to a Nigerian church, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about - the pastor gives one prayer point and gives you 5 minutes to pray about 1 thing. (I swear I finish before everyone else). I felt this way until I meditated on Matthew 6:7, that says "when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathens do, for they think they will be heard for their many words". I realised that there are 2 important parts of prayer and none of it has to do with your words, but your heart and the person you're praying to - your daddy.

H2H: MY PORN ADDICTION

The first time I watched porn, I was with a couple of my ex-girlfriends. They said they were going to rent a movie. They didn’t come back for hours, so I slept off while waiting for them because I am the nap queen. The next morning, I asked what movie they rented; they replied and said the CD was in my laptop and I should just press play. It had no name and certainly no plot. At first, I was like “what’s going on here?” “ewwwww” “gross”; and later i was like “oooh, this is interesting”. And that’s how I got hooked for about 5 years. I started with a couple videos every once in a while, to relieve the exam stress and I graduated to about a 100 videos a day. And honestly, I didn’t see it as a big deal. I mean, I wasn’t hurting anyone.

NO MORE BABY STEPS

 I’ve nursed two babies. Well, 2 are still in progress. I’ve never actually had a baby before (but I swear from my Instagram, lots of people think I have). My mom had my brother when I was a teenager; and I have a nephew and a niece. As a result, I’ve had my fair share of changing diapers and all of that stuff.

BLINDING LIGHT

One day there was no light (which is not a big deal in Nigeria) and then subsequently, the inverter died. And then the fuel in the generator finished. And I was left in total darkness to get ready for work. I got hold of a torch and it’s been a while since I used one. I put it face up so it would illuminate the whole room. I was looking for my keys and all of a sudden, I went too close to the light and it literally blinded me. I was shocked. All I have known about light is that it is meant to illuminate...brighten a dark room...not meant to blind anybody. I spent the whole day thinking about it. 

DON'T YOU DARE FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!!

Quite recently, my friend was in a dilemma. She needed to make a life changing decision and didn't know what to do. So she asked me for advice; and honestly, I wasn't in the mood that day. So just to get her off my back, I told her to follow her heart and that I loved her, and would support whatever decision she made.