Toxic? Non-Toxic? I've been both.

I’m currently reading a YouVersion plan with my boyfriend that is taking us through the book of Mark in the Bible. [Keep reading even if you’re not religious – I’m going somewhere]. Anyways, we get to a few verses where Jesus is eating with tax collectors (aka bad bad sinners) and the Pharisees (teachers of the law) were not having it. They were not too excited about the prospects of sinners chilling with Jesus. Quite frankly, they were very toxic folks.

 

Part of reading a plan together means we get to discuss what we’ve read and what that means for us, individually. Now, as a “church girl”, I have read that chapter too many times and I have always criticized the Pharisees, but never acknowledged that I have been one. So, when my boyfriend said to me “you know, I’ve been both the Pharisee and a Tax Collector at different times in my life”, I was taken aback. But, it made me look within myself and admit same.

There are times in my life where I have been a Pharisee, judging others in need of mercy and there are times when I have been a Tax Collector, looking for mercy when I deserved judgment. There are times when I have been the toxic one in situations projecting my insecurities and fears on others. And there are times when I have been non-toxic, confident in who I am and spreading love as a result. The truth is sometimes; we are different people in different seasons of our lives. Some of those seasons, we were terrible people and in order to truly grow, we have to admit the wrongs we did and/or the people we may have hurt. We make amends where we can, first with ourselves, always first with ourselves, and then with others. So yes, I have been both a Pharisee and a Tax Collector.

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Lots of love,

Culled from Mark 2:15-16