Talk Thirty To Me…

I have been looking forward to my 30th birthday since I turned 25. At 25, my life had just turned upside down and I thought I’d have it all figured out by 30. So I have been patiently waiting for this day for 5 years now.

Guess what? It’s here and I don’t have it all figured out and it’s taken me 5 years to realise that it’s totally fine (and normal) to not have it all figured out. I’m not waiting for 35 or 40 or 50 to enjoy the life I have now. 

I have a few things figured out though:

1. I owe my entire existence to Jesus Christ. It might sound like a cliche thing to say but I have tried a life without Jesus. I tried it and I realised for me, a life without Jesus, is just not fulfilling. So, I really do, absolutely, owe my entire existence to Jesus.
2. I married well and that’s something I never thought I would do. I bet 21 & 25 years old Tomi will be pleasantly shook if they saw my marriage now.
3. There is no manual to parenting and my parents did the best they knew how to and that has shaped who I am today, so I am thankful I got them as my creators.
4. I am entitled to frequent pats on my back. I have done well. I am doing well. I am doing the best I can. I am showing up everyday as my authentic self. I’m sticking up for myself when I need to and humbling myself when I need to.
5. My applause is worth more, to me, than a thousand external applauses. I, alone, know the journey and thus, while a thousand applauses sound lovely, my applause is the most important validation for me.

I hope to remember these 5 things as I step into the 3rd floor of my life. 7 more floors to go (hopefully)🤞🏾

Thank you for sharing in my life and I hope I have encouraged you to live authentically. And if you have failed at that, I hope I have encouraged you to start over. 

Lots of love,

Tomilola Vanna

To the Immigrant in all of us...

It’s been 2.5 years since I packed up my bags from a life I loved to move to Canada. I remember getting lots of advice when I was moving out here, but one has stuck with me more than others.

 “Canada is going to try to tell you who you are…who you should be…or that who you were before did not matter. No matter what happens, don’t listen to it. Don’t forget who you are.”

Gbas - We Learn. Gbos - We Unlearn.

When I wrote about my anniversary a few weeks ago, I wrote about how the first year was blissful and I didn’t understand why people say it is the hardest year.

Well, quick update – the arguments in the last few weeks are more than what was had in the preceding one year. We have been giving each other gbas gbos* LOL.