THE GREAT DEBATE.

I'm not condemning or approving any of the things I mentioned. I'm simply asking us to love each other to acceptance. I'm asking women to stop looking at what other women are doing but why they are doing it. Behind every modification...every change is a woman's desire to conform to a standard of beauty that exists maybe in her community...in the media or even worse in her own head. This isn't the "white vs black" debate.  This is the "women vs women vs the world" debate.

For so long, we've been put against each other. Two women wear the same outfit and it is a case of "who wore it better?". Two women are good friends and someone else is deciding "who is hotter?" Comments like "you're really pretty for a dark skinned girl" and "you're not that pretty, you're just light-skinned" are used to tear women down. Women are constantly been compared to each other. I don't know who started the comparison but I know who can end it. We can end it. We can stop the hate. We can love each other to acceptance. People say love isn't enough. I tell you, LOVE IS ENOUGH. It covers a multitude of sins. Don't mock/judge the girl who bleaches her skin, tell her how beautiful she is the way God made her...so maybe...just maybe she can look in the mirror one day and fall in love with herself inside and out. She isn't too pretty for a dark skinned girl. She is pretty. (FULL STOP) Unless she is medically unhealthy and you're willing to say it with love, don't comment on a woman's weight/size. It's not a case of who wore it better but two ways to style this item. She is not the hotter friend. She is simply a good friend.

All women have or will go through insecurity at some point in their lives. Don't make matters worse by picking on their insecurity but address it and help them feel secure. A confident woman isn't someone who doesn't have insecure moments. A confident woman is one that knows that her insecurities don't define her....that she is better than her bad days.

I could easily blame the hate on men...or the media...or even us women. But I read somewhere that it matters NOT what people call you, but what you answer to. And I don't mean to turn my blog into some inspirational/motivational thing but I think there are loads of blogs with people dressing fancy (which I love) yet there are so many deep-rooted issues that are left untouched. And I think we need to address it for ourselves...mothers...sisters...friends and our daughters.

"And God looked at all that He created and everything He created (including women), He saw as very beautiful - Genesis 1:31"

Lots of love,

HEY THERE, I'M TOMILOLA

Hi guys, I wanted to tell you guys a story about idolatry but I didn't want it to be long, sad and boring. God doesn't appreciate us having idols and I know we sometimes limit idols to some wooden thing we bow down and worship. Yes, those are idols but c'mon guys, we are in the 21st century, the definition of idols have broadened. An idol is a physical representation of your "god" and thus anything you treat as important or more important than God is your idol and idolatry is a sin. So think of anything really, money, your partners, SHOES, clothes and many others can be your idols. For example, when I was younger, I would skip church if I didn't have anything fancy to wear, so fancy clothes were my idols. They were way too important to me and a great hindrance to my service to God. I hope you get the picture. Have a lovely week guys!

"You shall have no other gods besides me - God [Exodus 20:3]"

Lots of love,

MY FEET ARE OFF THE GROUND...

Today, I got one of my coursework result and I was so sad I actually started crying because I was two marks away from a 1st class and I wanted that 1st class so badly. It's not because I'm so competitive I am crazy, it's because I like to push myself and I always wanna beat my best, if that makes any sense.


After crying for a while, I felt kinder bad because people got lower marks and I was here lamenting and I remembered the Bible verse that says 'in all things we should give thanks to God', so I did just that. I went on facebook and I found this note from Tyler Perry and I thought I'd share it with you beautiful people...

This morning I woke and was so frustrated about all the stuff I'm dealing with, trying to get this studio open. I was about to open my mouth and start complaining when I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago.

I was walking to my car and this woman who looked to be homeless started walking towards me. I'm ashamed to say this but I thought, "I don't feel like being hustled today." Then I got quickly convicted. I felt guilty so I started digging in my pocket for some money. As she got closer I noticed that she had the kindest eyes that I had ever seen. As I was reaching into my pocket she started to speak. I thought, "Here goes the sales pitch". She said "Excuse me sir, I need some shoes". Can you help me? My eyes filled with water because I remember being out on the streets and having only one pair of run over shoes. I was taken aback for a second. 

I took her inside the studio and had my wardrobe people find shoes in her size. As she put the shoes on she started crying, praising God and thanking Jesus, and saying, "My feet are off the ground! My feet are off the ground!" Several of the wardrobe people started crying. I was crying. But I never forgot that, "My feet are off the ground!"

I thought, "Wow! All she wanted was some shoes." She quickly disappeared and never asked me for a dime. I realized that I still had the money in my hand so I went out looking for her. She was gone just that quick so I looked all around the neighborhood for her. I found her standing on a corner looking down at her shoes still crying. I was so touched I asked her how she had gotten homeless. She told me that she had AIDS and that she was waiting to get into a shelter. She said that her family had turned their backs on her and she had nowhere to go and that God would make a way for her. I said to myself, "He just did." Her faith and her praise moved me.

I took her to a nearby hotel and put her up until she was able to get on her feet. I had someone that worked for me to check on her from time to time and make sure that she had food and clothes. After about a month or so we lost touch but I never forgot her.

This past summer I was shooting "Daddy's Little Girls" and this woman walks up to me smiling. I didn't recognize her face but her eyes were familiar. She had on a really nice dress and her hair was done. It was her! She told me that the little help that I had given her changed her life. She was in a house now and doing very well. 

I said all of that to say this. After I met this woman, every time I think about complaining and mumbling I remember, "My feet are off the ground!"


So I may not have gotten a 1st class, but my feet are off the ground and I am grateful to God...xx

Denim Shirt- H&M
Skater Skirt- River Island
Belt- Primark
Wristwatch- Versace

                                                           Lots of love...xo

A letter to all Khloe Kardarshians <3

Dear KK,

Yes, I know you aren’t Khloe Kardashian but if you aren’t familiar with media, she is the 3^rd sister of the Kardashian clan and she is popularly known as the “ugly one”. Yeah, I said it. “UGLY”. What is ugly and what is beautiful?? Some of us have been made to believe we are ugly because we do not fit into the world’s description of beautiful. A wise man once said beauty is skin deep and now I see what he meant. Raise your hands if you have ever felt ugly or even been called ugly (I see you). You’re not alone. I have once or twice and the first time I cried my eyes out because one boy looked at me and realized I didn’t look anything like Kim kardashian…LOL. The point is then I started putting all these make up on my face and started wearing tight skirts and forcing myself to eat so I could have “bumbum”…lol. I went to buy all sorta products so I can have a sexy face and ended up burning my face…well, that wasn’t a problem, my make up was there to cover all the scars. Sure enough, I was called beautiful with all the heavy ridiculous looking make-up, the extra padded bra and the exposing clothes, I was finally beautiful. 

 

Little did I know, I was ugly, deep down I was ugly because I did not love myself, but I loved all the things people wanted me to be…all the things I wasn’t. One day, I guess my life flashed in front of me and I didn’t like the picture. I had become all about the outside and my inside was all rotten and disgusting. I was vain and empty and yet, they called me beautiful. To them, I was beautiful, but to God and myself, I was real ugly. The truth is, true beauty comes from the inside, when you are beautiful on the inside, it will radiate so much that it starts to show on the outside. You won’t rely on people’s opinions and comments to know you are beautiful but you will feel it yourself. True beauty is skin deep; it isn’t what society says it is, it isn’t what boys with raging hormones say it is, it is what you say it is. It is you, it’s me. True beauty is us.

To all the khloe Kardashians out there, you are beautiful because you say you are. xxx

Khloe Kardashian-Odom